I’m a little late to this check-in, as it’s been a busy and confusing month. I just read my previous entry from month number four and found myself wishing for that routine once again because month number five has been a real doozy and I don’t see it going anywhere. I am still a pumping mom, no doubt about that, it’s a must. Between consults, kids' extra school activities, and everyday errands, I need this little guy to take a bottle, ones which need to be pumped milk. But boy oh boy, has he grown fond of the boob(s). Yes, I have began feeding from both sides now since his appetite/intake has grown since infancy. This kid gets a smile on his face before every nap time as he knows what’s next - a routine is a routine, no matter one's age. But I won’t lie, it hasn’t completely been to my advantage. It’s hard having to be on boob call most of the day.
In the past when I’d hear of my sister's breastfeeding journey or others whom only fed at the breast, never pumped, never fed bottles, I’d think, woof, that life isn’t for me. Yet here I am. As my mom would call my sister, here comes the milk truck. And now I am the milk truck.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not mad about it. I’m grateful to be able to be home to put him down for naps and able to nurse him to sleep every night. However, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss the exclusive bottle fed life. I felt that life was more predictable, easier to share with others and now I’ve become sole feeder at nap time and bedtime - making it hard to share this responsibility.
Similarly to bottle feeding, I’d argue that I still felt a bond with all of my babies, that nursing them at the breast wasn’t the only way to feel this feeding love. I’ll still whistle that from the rooftop but there's one new observation I’ll add to this new journey. It's the fact that he’s now actively feeding at the breast two times during the day and whenever through the night, and nothing compares to the rush of oxytocin you feel while feeding. As an exclusive pumping mom, I can't say I felt this rush while pumping. It's something I more recently noticed while feeding at the breast.
There’s a lot to be said about being in tune with your body, it’s something that took me several babies to realize and pay attention to. It’s hard to pin point every feeling you’re experiencing while you’re traveling down a new path. Again, similarly to pumping I can tell when a let-down is coming, but do I really care- not really- as long as the end result is the same most times. Now, while feeding at the breast it is important for me to relax and allow my body to decompress because I’ve found it’s the only way I can allow for a let-down to feed my son in that moment. Between the relief of him getting his meal and the relaxation spell the oxytocin puts on me, I’m ready for a nap! I understand that this comment may upset a few Moms, as it seems there's always a silent separation between pumping and nursing moms- I've been around the block a few times to see this over these last six years. Believe me when I say, I don't want this share to upset anyone who finds comparisons between nursing and pumping upsetting. I am very proud of my pumping journeys, it would be a cold day in hell before I ever got down on myself for all the effort I put into feeding my multiples and subsequent singletons. I am also able to accept that there is a difference between pumping and feeding at the breast, it's simply a fact, one which I am okay with. Being completely honest here, this is why I like to encourage feeding both ways if possible.
My pumping schedule has gotten super sloppy over the last month, pretty much derailed. There’s two things to consider here, both equally contributing to my loss of ounces, I’m sure of. At five months postpartum I’m certainly regulated or at the end of regulating .. add this to a sloppy schedule and boom good-bye ounces.
These numbers don’t only reflect regulation, in my opinion. These numbers also are a reflection of sloppy pumping. I can confidently tell you, I am not sure how many times I was pumping a day during the month of November- it was a hot, hot mess. What I can say is that this month, December 2024, I have decided to get back on track and begin logging my sessions again to hold me accountable. It’s hard to remember to pump! As often as I’ll say, fluctuation won’t kill your supply, this will. Consistently not pumping the same amount of times a day, day after day, will help your body to down-regulate to a new demand. This damage didn’t come after a week of neglect, it was a whole month’s worth of forgetting to pump, consistently reducing my time on the pump. Just a huge charcuterie board of bad pumping practices.
One might read this and roll their eyes, yes I am still making excess milk for my singleton. What you don’t see or may know is my two year old is also drinking my milk, and I’m stocking away for donation too. It is still a goal of mine to keep my milk supply somewhat elevated. After all I'm only five months in, I've got a ways ahead of me.
With my pumping schedule getting back on to what we saw during month number four- pushing for six pumps a day with two short nursing sessions around 9:30a and 1p, sometimes around 4p but I hate that nap- I feel sometimes it really backfires on us and keeps him from falling asleep at our desired bed time of 7:30p- my goal is to be back up to where I'd expect to be.
Ideal milk removal sessions
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7a |
Longest pump session around 30-40 minutes |
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9a |
Average pump session, around 20-30 minutes if I can sit for that long |
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Noon/1p |
Average session or sometimes mobile for errands |
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3:30/4p |
Average session |
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6:30p |
Average session or sometimes mobile for errands |
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8:30/9p |
Average session |
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MOTN |
Whenever Boob Monster wakes to eat. Sometimes that’s as early as 10p or as late as 3a. How many times? All depends. But I also think he uses me as a pacifier, so it’s not always milk removed. |
Let me quickly update on that fancy collapsible mini crib, which I have hardly been able to use! It's so awesome and I am so bummed we haven't been able to use it regularly. It was very short lived since my little dude has really taken a liking to co-sleeping and feeding all night. Our sleeping journey has been a bit whacky too, started out 100% bassinet, then brought in co-sleeping- 100% because I was too tired to move an inch and allowing him to sleep next to me was the easiest solution. Then slowly we began spending more time co-sleeping and less time in the bassinet, and mini crib. Now we are 100% co-sleeping, I'm not mad about it but... alike more nursing, this routine also has me on call most of the time.
Overall, month five has been a real shit show for my pumping game - holidays, school breaks, business obligations... it’s been tough. But nothing I can’t turn around. Now with all of these known mistakes on my radar I hope to turn it around now, and into the new year! I guess my resolution is now official!
Don't forget to listen to this episode of Tired Moms Club with bemybreastfriend! As Kelly Kendall calls it, "the unsexy truth about milk supply".
