Weaning your breastfed baby may sound simple until you're actually in the thick of it. I'm not here to give you a bunch of unsolicited medical advice or push you into something you're not ready for. Instead, I'd like to give you encouragement and facts. Whether you’re practicing exclusive breastfeeding via pumping and bottle feeding, nursing, or doing some of both, weaning is a deeply personal decision. And there is no right or wrong answer. Some factors include the age of your child, your mental state, your milk supply, and about 47 other things. Let's get into how & when to wean your breastfed baby.
Understanding Weaning: What It Means & When It Might Happen
The weaning process will look different depending on whether you’re nursing directly or providing pumped breast milk in a bottle. Contrary to popular belief, weaning may not always mean quitting breastfeeding altogether. Weaning is simply the process of reducing or ending breast milk feeds. It can be slow or abrupt, and you might change your mind a few times throughout the process.
Types of Weaning
Let’s clarify the different types of weaning from breastfeeding:
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Baby-led weaning (for breastfeeding, not eating solids): Your baby gradually loses interest in nursing. They gradually stop expecting to be fed, so your supply dwindles slowly and accordingly.
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Mother-led weaning: You decide you’re ready, so you lead the way in limiting nursing or pumping sessions (more on that later) until your supply dries up completely if desired.
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Partial weaning/Gradual weaning: Keeping some breastfeeds while replacing others with infant formula (for young babies) or cow's milk (for older babies). For example, maybe you keep that one precious bedtime feed for extra comfort while replacing the others with cow’s milk or infant formula.
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Cold turkey: Full stop, zero to weaned. This is sometimes necessary, such as in the case of an allergy or mom's health. This is a major, sudden change for both you and your baby, so it comes with its own set of challenges, including bottle refusal, engorgement, and clogged ducts.
- Night weaning: Limiting baby's intake of breast milk during the wee hours of the night once they are old enough. This sometimes comes with some form of "sleep training."
The "Right" Time
Per the American Academy of Pediatrics, babies still need breast milk or formula until they’re about a year old. Most pediatricians will tell you that at around four months of age, you can start night weaning; and at around 12 months of age, your baby is ready to start drinking whole cow's milk. But being "ready" doesn't mean that you HAVE to wean in any way. Plus, while the decision to wean in any way may happen suddenly, the actual process of weaning usually looks like a slow fade over a couple of weeks or months. There's no universal age or magic milestone that means your baby should be done with breastfeeding. Some nursing babies start to wean themselves naturally around 8 or 9 months of age if their bellies are full from nutrient-dense solids. (For more information on babies eating solid foods, take a listen to Tired Moms Club Podcast Episode 31 - Starting Solids with Jenny Best of @solidstarts) Others show absolutely no inclination to wean on their own. Others go on a total nursing strike at 6 months old!
How to Wean Gently
The first step in knowing how & when to wean your breastfed baby gently is to accept that it’s a process, and possibly an emotional one. So, what is the best way to get started?
For Nursing Moms
Whether you’re nursing around the clock or just doing a couple nursing sessions a day, slow weaning is gentlest. Here are a few tips to consider:
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Drop one feed at a time: Choose a nursing session that your baby seems least attached to (like the three minute "snack" before morning naptime). Try going without it for a few days and assess your level of engorgement.
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Replace with distraction: If baby seems to want to nurse and you've decided it's not the time, offer a snack, a cup of water or cow’s milk (if baby is old enough), or spend some time playing together.
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Delay and shorten: If baby asks to nurse, you can gradually delay the session (“Let’s do it after your nap”) or shorten the feed a bit each time.
- Tackle night feeds: Night feedings are a different ballgame - they’re usually the most emotionally charged for both you and your baby. When you've decided it's time for night feeds to go away and your baby is in their own room, try having your partner go in to baby's room for comfort when necessary in the middle of the night. Also, your bedtime routine may just need a little zhuzh—more books, more cuddles, maybe a lovey or soft music.
For Exclusive Pumpers
If you’ve been exclusively pumping, weaning will not be a natural occurrence - you're going to need a specific plan. Basically, your milk production needs a runway to wind down.
Here’s a full, step-by-step guide to help you do it: How to Wean From the Pump
To summarize:
- Slowly reduce how long you pump
- Stretch time between pumping sessions
- Drop one session at a time
- Watch for engorgement and clogs
When Will I be "Done" Breastfeeding?
At a certain point, the time will come when you and your baby are ready to say goodbye to the world of breastfeeding. You may wonder - my baby is only nursing once or twice per day, is it just for comfort? In my own experience, "stopping breastfeeding" has never been an immediate thing. I've always had a new baby who needs breast milk while my toddler still desires breast milk in a cup as well. I continue to provide it as long as they ask for it, and as long as I am able. But maybe this is your last baby and you're ready to end the journey. For all us moms, we will eventually get there one way or another.
Signs Your Baby is Ready
If your older baby (typically 12+ months of life) is eating three full meals a day and stealing your snacks too, their diet has naturally begun the process of weaning. Some breastfed babies gradually nurse less often because they’re too busy exploring. Even when you try, they're just not into it. All of those are valid signs that your baby may be easing into the gradual process of weaning.
You might notice your baby:
- starts pushing away or biting to show that they don't want to nurse
- prefers to drink out of a cup instead of nurse or drink from a bottle
Signs You Might Be Ready (Even If Baby Isn’t)
Your mental health and your lifestyle matters. Here are some signs you might be ready to stop breastfeeding.
- You’re exhausted, stressed, and tired of scheduling life around pumping or nursing. If so, I recommend listening to Podcast Episode 29 - Balancing Life and Pumping.
- Your baby is experiencing allergic reactions to breastmilk and you can’t keep up with the diet restrictions.
- You're simply overwhelmed/depressed/anxious because of your commitment to breastfeeding
If weaning means you’ll be a more present, happier mom, it’s probably a good idea for both of you.
The Emotional Side of Weaning
Whether you’ve loved every breastfeeding session or resented 90% of them, the end of this chapter might hit you with all the feels. Maybe you think you'll sob during your last feeding, or maybe you're excited to throw your nursing bra in the trash and crack open a bottle of wine. Just expect some crazy emotions. You've been warned.
Weaning completely can be a bit of a hormone rollercoaster. If you’re feeling disconnected after weaning, try adding in new rituals to replace those nursing sessions:
- A cozy bedtime routine with books and baby massages
- Skin-to-skin snuggles for bonding
- Singing or rocking before naps
- Implement more storytimes
- Babywear around the house - this baby carrier is one of my favorites for hands-free bonding (Use affiliate code bemybreastfriend10 for 10% off!)
Not nursing anymore doesn’t mean you’re losing closeness to your baby. Breastfeeding is magical, but it isn’t the only way to bond. Weaning is eventually a part of every baby’s development. It means you’re both growing.
Final Thoughts
At the end of the day, knowing how & when to wean your breastfed baby isn't one-size-fits-all. Whether you nurse for a few months or into the toddler years, how long you breastfeed has nothing to do with how much you love your child. Trust your gut and make a decision that’s right for your family, no matter the age of your child or the amount of time you’ve been doing this.
